Higher

Oh there is a war inside of me, pulling me away with defeat and closer with every victory. As the years go by I trudge on with my trademarked moves and stick stubbornly to tools of my own devising. As I wage I feel His gaze, like someone watching me from behind.  My first instinct is to ask how I’m doing but there’s no time to lose; I’ve got to keep going. There are things that I need, people I want, and accomplishments I crave. Yielding any ground on those things or those people, even to you, feels like giving up. If I stop trying, manipulating, chasing I might lose them all. Even the imagined thought of loss, of failure or the unthinkable ultimate regret strangles and my chest tightens.

In the haze of fear, I desperately follow a barely audible promise that you are teaching me something new, that I’m becoming something new. The thought excites me, floods me; I strain harder to listen. He says His thoughts are higher than mine and His ways are higher too. What if He knows me so deeply that He loves the things that I love? I interject! Oh God, help me to go higher! Show me how it’s done! I’m always afraid, always scared that I’ve missed it. Always worried that if I don’t get it right everything will implode, and I’ll be maimed and worthless. Then I lose a battle. I do the things that I don’t want to do and feel the shame, and know I’m already worthless.

You carry my weak body, flesh and spirit alike, past the violence of the war around us. You force open my blind eyes, causing them to see something beyond the anguish and angst I feel over and within my own soul. You pull me with you to the clouds to see from above what I had missed from below.  It’s bigger than me. It’s so wonderfully bigger than me. The sting of death, of failure, has vanished in the blazing dawn of victory.  The eternal and the infinite are at work here. Love is law and all is won. 

Fight!

Matthew 24:10-13

“And then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another. And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.”

            Who isn’t disgusted with the current state of the American Evangelical church? Aren’t we all tired of the “Five Steps to Faith?” There are so many seemingly uneducated pastors running around saying things that your “gut” just knows aren’t the truth, cringing moments where you are rethinking bringing your friend to church. Ever left a church service seething in anger with a terrible desire to punch the pastor in the face? Unfortunately, hypocrisy has become the church’s bread and butter, to the point that churchgoers just have to accept it as part of the package if they want to keep going. Just as Christ predicted, we have started destroying ourselves causing “the love of many” to “grow cold.”

Jesus is speaking to His Disciples in this passage. He’s telling them of the signs to watch for that tells us the end is near. The verses before this tell of a time when Christians will be persecuted by the whole world. Obviously, we are not in that time period but we can see what he’s talking about in these verses happening right in front of us. The point is, Jesus is not surprised that this is going on and we shouldn’t be either.

Think of the parable of the Virgins. You know, the ones standing/sleeping, waiting for the bridegroom to come. There are ten of them and only five of them have enough oil to last through the processional to enter the house of the Bridegroom. So there they are when the bridegroom approaches, standing with an empty vessel…awkward.  They had some oil at one point but now they are void of the very thing they need to “get in.” They look just like all the others but they lack the essential ingredient to produce that warm blazing light. When they leave to go find some and come back, the Bridegroom/Jesus has already shut the door and says, “Truly I say to you, I do not know you.”

Keep in mind it’s a parable, so it’s not perfect. Now, obviously these people believed themselves to be close enough friends to be part of the bridal processional. They thought they were in. Just like in Matthew 7 where another group of supposed worshippers claim to have prophesied, cast out demons and done mighty works in Jesus’ name. He says the same thing to them, “I never knew you, depart from me.” They weren’t the real deal; they did a lot of cool stuff but they didn’t KNOW Him.

Bottom line, our houses of worship are filled with fakes and phonies and it’s no surprise. In fact, when it’s all said and done, the fakes and phonies will probably be super shoked that the fingers being pointed at them! There is an eventual promise of the separation of the “goats from the sheep”, but the judgment of who’s who is NOT up to me and you.  That judgment lies with God, the only one who can see into the heart of another. What’s important to you, is the condition of YOUR HEART.

It’s hard to see through the crap that’s out there. But there are also some great, loving, selfless, educated people that love Christ. There are others that feel like you and I know that if you pray, God will be faithful to help you find them. So keep up the good fight, don’t let that lamp go out. The love and freedom of the Gospel are worth fighting for!

Some sources of great Gospel teaching to tide you over….

DesiringGod.org (free sermons and books, podcasts available through itunes)

Grace Community Church Podcasts

https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/grace-community-church/id274977467

One of my all time favorite sermons

http://apologiachurch.sermon.tv/4561444