Church

I am about 6 months from graduating from nursing school. It was such a shift in thought and it felt good to get out of the realm of ideas for awhile. I feel like I was stuck in the theoretical and we were always learning about loving our neighbors and being the love of God so, I wanted to go out and do
that! I feel like I have now learned a set of skills that will better prepare me to love others and open up many doors of opportunity that might have otherwise been closed. It has also served other purposes
along the way. I am writing because I don't really go to church anymore. I still love God more than anything but there are so many things that happen in the church that I cannot get past. Maybe it's
because I'm young and idealistic or maybe because the core message of Christ seems to have been lost. I know there are good people serving the church out there, and I think their efforts are valiant, but I
hate feeling like I can't be myself in church. I don't want to be two people and I find that I am not accepted well otherwise. I originally set out to be a minister but at this point I don't think my views and
my lifestyle would be accepted. I have a drink here and there and I watch some R rated movies. I feel like I'm always looked down upon if I say a cuss word or talk about Flight of the Concords at church. The stark realization that I had this morning was that the classroom was my church when I was studying theology. It was my gathering together of believers, the place where my overactive mind worshiped the living God. I have not had that church in over 2 years now and I don't know what to do with myself.